Total Queries: 47
Total Rejections: 18

I want to write. It really can’t get more simple than that. Why am I not writing? Great question, but will my answer be sufficient? I am not writing because I believe I need to balance everything in my life. One block is assigned to being an author and currently that is being consumed with querying. I have no more space in that block for anything else.

As I write these words, I can feel the absurdity dripping from the screen. I am tired. The tiredness radiates from my body, emotions, and anything else that has the capacity to be exhausted. I am a busy person, which is self-inflicted. I take on a lot because I have a driving need to be doing something. That something must be productive…serve a purpose…lead to more.

There can be so many contributors to realizing this fatigue-of-the-self. In large part it is due to waiting. Waiting for COVID/quarantine to to end, waiting for emails from literary agents or more specifically from THE literary agent who wants to take on my heart and soul that has been formed into a book. I am waiting to continue writing book 2. Each day seems to fly by as I wait, full of “other” things that must be completed…as I wait.

It is in this depth of unknown and questions that I usually make decisions. Rash or not, decisions are made.

I think I will give myself another month or so of active querying, before I truly explore alternate ways to get my book published. I guess we will see what happens.